Music Monday: Breakups 101

Another incredible discovery from the beautiful top 100 list of 1986 is actually something of an instructional video. For anyone who's ever wondered about the best possible way to confront someone who's been cheating, this is it:

As dictated by the legendary Oran "Juice" Jones, a blow-by-blow guide to handling a break-up:
1) Write a song (or poem or semi-autobiographical short story) that deals with the situation in as literal a fashion as possible.
2) DANCE. IT. OUT. (0:35). Enlist friends! (1:50)
3) Enjoy as many cigarettes and as much cognac as you want (1:03). [Preferably not alone though, only the Juice can pull off that look.]
4) Resist the kneejerk reaction to "pull a Rambo" and instead just CHILL. No sudden moves, please. (2:50)
5) Make sure you get your fair share (and then some) of the stuff (1:15).
6) Retire to your silk robe and DISMISS that fool for good (4:00). Make sure to reclaim your agency through self-esteem-boosting affirmations (see: "It's MY world, you're just a squirrel trying to get a nut")
7) *Bonus Round* ON TO THE NEXT ONE.

HEARTBREAKER

cocoWHAT???

So, coconut Hershey's kisses are a thing? Apparently! I found these guys on the clearance shelf at Pathmark, and they're just as perfect as I expected them to be when I first stuffed them into my basket. They're on clearance because they're supposedly an "Easter candy," but come on. Anything coconut flavored is automatically a Summer Jam Snack.


Also, these earn bonus points because there's something about the phrase "coconut kisses" that just makes me smile. So much so that when Body Language gets off the ground Coconut Kisses will probably be the title of a tropical mid-tempo Summer Jam about Summer Love. Mark your calendars! And in the meantime buy as many of these coconut kisses as you can possibly find, they're out of control.

MUSIC MONDAY

For today's Music Monday post I'd like to bring your attention to my new favorite iPhone app, from (and I am as shocked as you are) the jerks behind Bing, the unnecessary google knock-off with the worst commercials ever. It's "TOP 100 BY YEAR," a playlist on the go from every year reaching back to 1947. You can listen to every song! It's an instant dated playlist! Color me Thrilled. Beyond. Belief.

In honor of this, my MM track is randomly selected from 1986, the year of my birth. Ladies and Gentleman, #56, BIG TIME! I love this song because it's Peter Gabriel, not to mention it's basically the story of Body Language. ENJOY!!

And, BONUS, randomly selected from 1987, the year Virginia was born, lucky number 23: ARETHA AND GEORGE MICHAEL!

This is What True Love Looks Like

Movin' on up

Best Coast finally dropped a video for When I'm With You, and it turns out they're seriously down with the clown. Two thumbs up!

She. Can't. Be. Stopped.

More Nicki Minaj, because we love her and you should too.

Download the track HERE.

I-I-I-I can make your bed rock

I don't even know where to begin on this song. It has haunted my dreams since Virginia first showed it to me a couple weeks ago. I've only avoided posting it for so long because words cannot describe how deliriously good it is. The hook? INCREDIBLE. The verses? Clever beyond reason. The chorus? Good luck ever getting it out of your head. And this video? You will never be at a party as fun as this party, so stop trying. Just spend your Friday nights at home, watching this on repeat and dreaming of what life would be like if it involved you and Nicki Minaj squirt gun fighting by the pool.

(Ed note from Virginia: just because I'm still in awe of Tardy for the Party, I'm throwing in a remix courtesy of Kandi Burruss and co. Variety is the spice of life!

Rasheeda f. Kandi, Toya, Diamond, Lola Monroe “Bedrock” (Remix) MP3)

Oh goodness

Excuse me while I listen to this song and this song only for the next 2 weeks at least. Where has this been all my life??



Reeeeeeeeemix:

Gil Scott-Heron f. Nas, “New York is Killing Me (1200Squad Remix)” MP3

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Hello, Kitty!

Hunter Thompson had his Wild Turkey. Winston Churchill had his gin. As for us, we now have Hello Kitty Wine.

A clip from the interview with the CEO behind this:
To your knowledge, is this the world's first cat-themed wine?

I'm not aware of any other feline themed wines out there, but the cat is definitely out of the bag with this one.

---

PURRRRRRFECT.

Ink Yourself Before You.... Sink Yourself?

We don't know if you've heard, but the young kids these days are pretty keen on the tattoos. They are also keen on Nicki Minaj. So what happens when these two concepts COLLIDE???

Yes. Aaaaand:

This clearly goes beyond fan art, and is in fact an extension of the always-classic tattoo choice, the Spirit Animal. LOVE IT.

TWITTER!

BODY LANGUAGE IS GOING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD VIA THE INTERNET.

First we started blogging! Now we're on TWITTER. Next stop: contract with Usher? I wanna do it like the Biebs does it!

You can click HERE to follow us, or HERE or HERE. (Ed. note: these links are all the same)

And by can I mean... had better.

Billie Piper: Because We Want To

I've missed you, 1998.

Music Monday: Summertime (re: springtime) is here!

This week's Music Monday happens to fall on a momentous day: today I wore shorts outside! For the first time since before winter! Aubrey may live in a land with 365 days of summerjam weather, but here on the east coast I have to deal with seasons, which I have never liked and have no plans to get used to. So, to celebrate the return of summertime clothes, a summertime-sounding song:

Real Talk

There are a lot of YouTube videos out there of people ranting into the camera. This guy is better than all of those:

Seriously, so on-point. Things that we at Mack to the Future also hate:
-Fools who don't use turn signals. This even sucks as a pedestrian.
-Awkward same-side-of-the-bench couples in restaurants
-Gratuitous DVD encasement
-Text messages that make it impossible to respond. "What the fuck am I supposed to reply to LOL" indeed.
-BIRDS. They're awful.
It's comforting to know we're not alone. However, a couple of footnotes:

1) Cards that sing to you are awesome, guy needs to learn to appreciate.
2) Attention must be paid to Krispy Kreme Divas, easily the high-water mark of this YouTube genre:

!!!!!

WHAT.

Just Bieber Screensaver from Justin Bieber