Are you special too?

Missed Connections

The internet can be used for a lot of great things: finding a job, watching other people have sex, starting an imaginary band (#BodyLanguage), or repeatedly watching YouTube videos of top 40 songs you can't bring yourself to download. Perhaps most importantly, it can also be used to find LOVE. There's no better evidence than this inspirational Missed Connections post in which a 25 year old male on the Lower East Side reaches out to his potential soulmate:

Work: soda, piss, soda, piss, soda, piss, soda, piss…make BLT on rye, shit, sorry TOASTED rye, calm down u fuck, I’ll toast it, JESUS. y don’t u stress out about ur fat cunt girlfriend instead. Yeah u look like a BIG MAN stressing about a sandwich. Out: to the downtown B, that pigeon’s moving mad slow, catch it, stomp its neck with my LL Bean chukkas. You: saw u right when I got on the train. U were sitting with ur girl, yall are like maybe 16, 17, 18 tops, dressed similarly, but u were so much finer, long black mad straight, tight grey jeans accentuating ur young Latina ass, with that small gap between ur upper thighs, like FINE young ethnic ladies have sumtimes. BUT THE DEALSEALER: brand new North Face SteepTech, tight, fitting u close, makin u look tall and real fuckin fit. OK, SteepTechs are a little LAST year, but I ain’t never seen one with purple on the neck and shoulders like u had. I had on a navy Helly Hanson parka , with big headphones, u see me? jesus, pleeeeeeez...

Good Morning, Vietnam

You heard it here first, Today is going to be the best day of all of our lives!!

So says Spencer Pratt on his always-illuminating Twitter. Also illuminating was advice from his devoted wife Heidi Montag, who tweeted, "note to anyone who gets a nose job, take off you tape in the shower after it is wet!" So true.

Let's go, Mack to the Future readers! MAKE YOUR DREAMS HAPPEN TODAY!
---
Edit: The "best day of all of our lives" doesn't seem to have gone all that well for Spencer, who just tweeted,

"I can't wait until I reach enlightenment! I'm so sick of being angry and mad all the time! Please God help me LOVE MORE!!"

... TGIF?

How to Win Friends and Influence People

Alright, let's imagine a scenario: it's a Friday night, and you're chilling with your good friends Agnes, Agatha, Germaine and Jack Daniels. Like the reckless young people that you are, you're drinking and probably listening to some music. Something great comes on and everyone manages to get off the couch and dance. What happens next can go one of two ways: someone puts on a total jam and you've got a serious dance party on your hands OR there's a lull /bad song choice, and your friends all sit back down and develop headaches.

The moral of this story is that successfully DJ-ing a drunk dance party is harder than it seems. Many are called, few are chosen. Not to get too big for our britches, but Aubrey and I have been known to make some very drunk dancers very happy, and have taken upon ourselves the noble duty of compiling a few basic principles to keep in mind:

1) Don't just fall back on whatever's big in the top 40 right now. It may be a total club banger, but your DJ-ees could hear that at any damn bar they went to. Instead they're letting YOU (yes, you!) dictate the music, so use this vote of confidence to showcase your connoisseurship and take them on a magic carpet ride through the decades! Switch out Bad Romance with Another Night or any song ever with Return of the Mack.

2) It's a dance party, not a middle school dance, so no slow jams are allowed. It has to be 100% danceable otherwise your guests will have time to realize their lack of sobriety and totally lose momentum. U Remind Me of a Girl? Perfect. Let it Burn? Not nearly as good.

3) If you don't play the Remix to Ignition (hot and fresh out the kitchen) your party is a failure and no one will ever talk to you again.

4) Don't change mid-song. Under any circumstances. This should be obvious, but our trust has been betrayed too many times, and you know what they say: fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on ME. Preventing other people from committing this unforgivable mistake requires a potent combination of vigilance and belligerence.

5) Deal with requests on a case-by-case basis, not everyone is as tasteful as you. And never relinquish control of the iPod/DJ table/CD rack to the drunk jerk who only wants to hear Single Ladies on repeat. Your friends are drunk and you control the music. You are their god.

In other words, it should end like this:

Party in the USA

You know that song where you say tomato and I say tomato (THIS JOKE DOES NOT TRANSLATE TO BLOGGING)? For a while I thought that Virginia and I would have to call our whole friendship off because Virginia loved Miley Cyrus and I did not get it, mostly due to a rather tragic incident where I was forced, thanks to a lost remote and a divine sense of laziness, to watch almost the entire video for her song "The Climb". [Ed note from Virginia: I don't love Miley Cyrus so much as I love Party in the USA, and that is mainly because it's a direct allegory of my current life situation. You know, just to clarify.]
Luckily for ME, my mind was changed when my roommate graced the wall of my facebook page with an artistic interpretation of her song "Party in the USA" performed by some delightful young homos from West Hollywood (I think I actually saw one of them at a house party on Halloween!). As anyone who knows ANYTHING about me can attest, there is no more sure-fire a way to warm the icy sphere around my heart than with a bunch of proud gays singing pop music. Please observe the brilliance below:

So,I watched Party in the US-Gay... and then I watched it again, and again, and again. Could I be falling under the spell of the CYRUS??!?
And THENNNNNN Virginia showed me something that rivaled the magnificence of my previous viewing experience, aka THIS GEM:

While some light internet stalking revealed that this guy has a goatee and therefore is no longer husband material, Virginia and I are stillbasically in love with him at least in this video. Mad props to thehip-shaking at 0:55, which I can only hope is the literal translationin American Sign Language for "movin' my hips like yeah."

At a mash-up party a few weeks ago I discovered further proof that MileyCyrus is, in every possible way, a blank slate, and that Biggie worksin every possible mashup combination. Evidence can be found here:

HOW GLORIOUS IS THIS?! You can't fake this kind of brilliance, andit's damn near impossible to hate the person who brought it to my ears,even if she doesn't know who Jay-Z is...

A Treatise on Art

True, this is a blog about pop culture. But it is also a blog about ART. Yeah, ART, the lifeblood coursing through humanity's veins, tying us to our past and to our future, bridging the language divide, inspiring the masses! British philosopher (and sexpot) Richard Wollheim describes art as "one of the most elusive of the traditional problems of human culture," and source-of-all-knowledge Wikipedia calls it "a vehicle for the expression or communication of emotions and ideas, a means for exploring and appreciating formal elements for their own sake, and as mimesis or representation." Yes friends, art has alternately confused, aggravated, inspired, surprised, comforted and (insert appropriate adjective here) mankind since the first piece of charcoal was used on a cave wall.

With this in mind I bring to you the next stage in Art-volution! The TWEET MUSEUM, where, with the help of artist Odessa Begay, your favorite celebrity tweet can also become your computer desktop. Yes, friends! Let's paint a glorious visual representation of that celebrity tweet! Let's glorify that typo with a depiction of what it could have meant were it not a typo! Let's make ART HAPPEN HERE TONIGHT.

(Editor's note: Though we can appreciate the value of modern art it is important always to remember it's roots in the classical art forms. Namely, the animated GIF.)

First Things First

If Aubrey and I are going to feel good about ourselves as bloggers, we owe it to our readers to look out for your spiritual well being. So it's time someone said this: if you are not following Reverend Run on Twitter, you are not running your life right. Real talk.

When he's not wishing Mary J. Blige a happy birthday or giving pretty accurate relationship advice directed at the "ladies" of Twitter, Rev. Run serves up gooey, inspirational, and totally entertaining twitter wisdom, like so:

There's something out there big, fly and dope enough to keep fighting for

When u want something 2 get done,, Wishing wont do!. Replace that wishbone with a lil backbone!

There's no one that doesn't need this kind of daily, 140-character morale boost.

To conclude:

Dream it up,, THEN DO IT UP!

I Was Talking to this Girl from the US Nation

MACK TO THE FUTURE!

This blog has a backstory and this is IT: Virginia and Aubrey went to high school together (ALL THE DOGS IN THE HOUSE TRUE DOGS?!), then college (ALL THE YEOMEN IN THE HOUSE TRUE YEOMEN?!?!), but only realized our potential for joint greatness after we moved to opposite ends of the country and became G-chat soulmates (THANKS INTERNET). So we've started this blog, and a hypothetical-but-eventually-real band called Body Language (named after the hit single by Jesse McCartney featuring T-Pain IN CASE YOU HAD TO ASK).

List of things we will do on our blog:

1) Compile lists. Lots of them. (See, we're doing it already)

2) Chronicle the inspiring story of Body Language's rise to the top.

3) Other stuff.